Eat, Pray, Love, and Shut Up
[There were a few password emails I sent that got bounced back. If you left a comment to get that, and you never got an email, please follow up with me because I cannot get it to you if you didn't leave a valid email address when leaving a comment]
Sorry for the angry title. I’m just pissed at myself for spending $15 at B0rders on this book that was meant to be for my own “pleasure reading.” If you loved this book, as most people seemed to, you might be a tad offended by my opinion, so I’ll apologize in advance.
I guess I just have a serious problem with the wealthy socialite who abandons her life and material things to skip off to India, where she spends several months with a guru, returns proclaiming enlightenment, and writes a best seller about her spiritual journey. I’ll admit, I did not get very far into the book before making a pretty harsh judgement about this woman, but I think she was just reminiscent of characters I knew in college and certain themes in her life overlap with those characters who made my eyes roll.
For 1, only rich people have the luxury of “giving up all material wealth.” Why does it seem like it’s usually trust fund kids who do things like this? Perhaps because they are the ones with the security of knowing they can always return to that wealth when they want it back. For another thing, the whole notion that you can just temporarily plop yourself into a totally different country, religion, culture, etc, and suck up what it has to offer, leave, and proclaim spiritual enlightenment just annoys me. I’d have no issue with the trust fund kids who skips around the world contributing something productive and leaving a positive impact along the way, like if s/he uses her money to start micro-finance companies to benefit developing areas, or to improve schools, volunteer at hospitals, or whatever.
And if you know Colorado at all, Boulder is the capital of this sort of thing. Don’t get me wrong; we LOVE Boulder - it’s beautiful, funky, liberal, educated. But it also harbors a crazy amount of pretense and wealth that I don’t like so much. Travis and I always joke about it though because it’s the sort of place you’ll see people dressed like bums, looking like they haven’t showered in weeks, bopping around with dreads and gross clothes, and then you’ll see them hop into a $50K car, or onto a $6K bike. It’s pretty amusing, but also irritating in a different way.
So all of that was only peripherally related to the book Eat, Pray, Love, but it’s what the book reminds me of and why I’m having a hard time making myself like the protagonist.
As a funny aside though, during the same trip to the bookstore, I decided to finally buy myself the book Raising Your Spirited Child. About damn time, I know. Anyway, as I was asking the customer service desk to please order it for me since they were no copies left on the shelves, Jackson was racing around the store like a crazy person…clearing books off shelves and running from me like we were playing a game of chase. I looked up and noticed the customer service rep had this look on her face like, “holy &hit, that kid just wrecked the place.” All I could say in response to her horrified look was “um yeah, so that would be the ’spirited’ one!” Hahaha.
I’ll write more about this book in another post, but so far I love it. It’s given me some really positive ways to look at Jackson’s behavior, which, by the way, has actually been really good lately. He’s been doing SO well at playgroups, with Shane, and just in general. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still ’spirited,’ but I think a lot of the struggles we encountered a few months ago were more a product of the very rapid, difficult adjustment we forced on him by introducing 2 new babies into the family so close together. That was a LOT of change for an almost 2 year old to have gone through, especially on the heels of having lived in Vietnam away from his little world at our house for 7 weeks. All things considered, I think he’s handled it all pretty darn well.
He was so cute the other day as we were leaving a get together with a group of friends whose kids Jackson used to not play very well with. He was really really good, no issues, no fighting, no toy snatching, no aggression. We were in the car and I told him, “Jack, mommy is SO proud of you. You made me SO happy today because you played so nicely with your friends.” He had the biggest smile and then said, “Mommy soooooo happy. Jack so happy too.”
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36 comments
I also loved the Spirited Child book - it helped me understand that being spirited can be a blessing. I didn’t read Eat Pray Love b/c I heard many others who described it the same way you did!
Laurie, you crack me up! I have the book, but only got about 3 chapters (whatever she calls them, don’t remember) into it as I bought it for my trip to Ohio and haven’t had a moment to read since. But I totally get what you’re saying, I went to college with a ton of the folks you’re describing (and hmmm, quite a few were from CO!). That’s just a whole different world that I can’t identify with.
Will be interested in hearing more about the spirited child book - I have a hunch I may be needing to check on that one at some point too. I’m not sure yet if “spirited” will truly apply for us, but sassy, independent and opinionated sure will. Sounds like Jack is doing so well and of course is such a hoot.
Yep, sign me up for the ’spirited child’ book. I have Jackson Part Deux here, and she has been in rare form lately with her amazingly infuriating 14-month-old opinions and independence. She has this stare that she reserves only for times when she is directly told “no” while she does it again, waiting to see what we will do next….which is invariably hold her hands and say “no” again, to MAKE her stop doing whatever it is, then she laughs hysterically in your face while you try not to cringe/laugh/shoot yourself in the head while swearing not to have any more of these little monsters. hahaha But somehow we all forget and have more kids….alas…..the joys of parenting. And why is it that the grandmothers NEVER have any sympathy?…of yeah, it’s a taste of our own medicine. But who wants a boring kid?!?!?! 6 DAYS UNTIL OUR BEACH TRIP!
Thanks for sharing your honest opinion of the book. It’s one I’ve almost read countless times, but for some reason I have just never picked it up. I have zero tolerance for pretentiousness, so having read this I’m pretty sure I’d walk away from the book with similar thoughts. One of my college roommates was from Boulder and seriously fits your interpretation. She was SO great though…and a thousand times better than my racist roommate from Laramie, WY.
I couldn’t stand that book either. I’m glad to meet someone who didn’t just worship it too. SO many people recommended it, but I couldn’t even finish it. She was so annoying!!
Did not receive a password, would still like one if you would like to give it to me!
Hi Laurie,
I laughed at your comments about the book. Sterling and I just back from Bali on Thursday, and both read the book b/c part of it takes place there. I appreciated her sense of humor and writing style, although I agree with you that she’s pretty selfish. (Although you ought to read about what she does for a Balinese friend at the end of the book). . . Anyway, while in Bali Sterling and decided to visit a couple of people that she talks about there, including the traditional Balinese healer, Ketut. I have really mixed feelings about this experience. What initially felt like a charming experience turned frustrating. Gilbert claims in the book that Ketut asks for no official payment from people–only that which they feel comfortable giving. When Sterling and I offered a very generous amount for his services, he asked for four times as much. I think, just like with any other Balinese (but that’s another subject for another email), we got worked over b/c we were American. Since Gilbert’s book was published, the guy is seriously raking in the cash! I guess what I took away from it is that regardless of what is quasi-diefied via fame or description, people are jujst people, and I shouldn’t expect anything different of him just b/c Gilbert practically worships everything he has to say.
Anyway, I love seeing pictures of your family. They are so adorable. I can’t get over Finley’s dimples! Sterling and I thought of the two of you like crazy being in Southeast Asia again. We knew you would have loved some of the things we did and saw while we were there.
Also, I’d love to get a password for your entry about your profession. As an attorney, (I can’t believe I can even use that title when all I do is chase after my kids all day), I have similar concerns and inward struggles. I’d be interested in getting your perspective on it.
Much love,
Amanda (& Sterling)
my email address must have been one of the bad ones!
If you could try sending it again that would be great.
Thanks
Ironed all the pages, and take that book back for refund, I dislike these people also, they are living on cloud nine with their wealth wrap around them. Jackson is spirited, but also, so gentle and sweet toward his love ones, will be a challenge to discipline him, such a charmer he is.
Ok - who knew THIS would be the post that would make me de-lurk?! Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy all your posts. I guess I was living under a rock because I didn’t know much about the book and then heard Gilbert interviewed on public radio here in Canada. I really liked the interview and thought she was funny. A friend of mine was reading the book and loved it, so when I saw it at Costco for a cheap price, I thought, “Why not?” I don’t remember how much I read, but it wasn’t much. I couldn’t connect at all with the character (now maybe I know why, with your descriptions of who she reminds you of Laurie! I’m so far from a trust fund person I don’t even know anyone like that!). I found the writing to be annoying. In the interview she said that she was taught to write a book as though you’re writing to one person and she wrote the book to her friend. To me, it felt like she was writing to sound like what she thought a writer should sound like and it just felt forced and pretentious. Anyway, I’m glad that I’m not the only one NOT to like this book. Usually I’ll push through a book when I don’t connect right away - I just put this one down and moved on. You’ve given me further incentive to keep moving!
BTW – would love the password for the protected posts.
I also have a “spirited” child. People try to politely say “active”. I’ll be getting my hands on that book.
Know all about Boulder - love the place and the vibe, but it is a bit annoying with kids knocking around in dreads and dressed like a bum all the while daddy and mommy are footing the tuition bill, rent, lights, gas, car, etc. So easy to be part of the counter culture when you have no worried where your next meal is coming from. I just shake my head and mutter under my breath, “Clueless morons.”
Have not read the book and based on your review don’t think I will.
Love the “spirited” label! Everyone needs a “spirited” one to make us appreciate the Finjins and Shane Bugs even more. Just look at it as free entertainment!
How the is the residency going for Dr. Trav? Need a haircut update too. Have not seen any pics of the good doc sportin’ anything but a normal cut. Always a good laugh (with you Travis, not AT you!) when you bust on the mullet man!
I would love the password for protected posts, please!
Jackson’s a smart one! He’s already learned the universal truth about family happiness in reverse. If mama’s happy, everybody’s happy.
Will you still be my friend if I tell you I liked the book? I guess I looked at it more along the lines of gee, I really wish I had a publishing company that would pay me to take a year and go do these things. Maybe not exactly these things if given the choice, but if that was the mandate, ok. If her view of the world is a bit different than how I hope I would see it in the same situation, I guess that is ok too.
Too funny–I liked the book, but I read it during jury duty so it was a good escape. I sort of enjoyed pretending that I could escape like that and be self-centered for a year. Wouldn’t that be fun?? The good news is that you can either return it for a full refund or if you sell it at half-price books or something you should get a good price for it since it’s so “hot” right now!!
I have not read it, but from the comments I read, it sounds a lot like your husband was when he was 2 and 4 and ….
Hey Laurie- I’m following up on the password request. My email is tshapedgirl@yahoo.com. Hope it works this time! Looking forward to your thoughts….
I own the spirited child book too - my oldest was very “spirited.”
Jack sounds so dang cute!
I would love your password too - I am behind on reading, I know. Plus I feel like I don’t have a choice about working (being single) but I would like to read it. Plus every one keeps talking about it.
adoptingty @ yahoo.com Thank you!
the spirited child book makes me feel that just maybe I’ll survive this parenthood thing. I should have read it when my daughter was a year and a half old. Of course, I never have time to actually finish it, because she keeps me busy 24/7.
She has all 5 of the spirited characteristics plus all 4 “bonus” characteristics. Please, oh please, let my son be easier!
Hope you enjoy the book. Best of luck finishing it with 3 little kids including 1 spirited one! If nothing else, it’ll make you realize just how many of us have spirited kids too! Just realizing that made me feel better!
Laurie-
I have been following your blog since October when my husband and I started the adoption process. You and others have been an inspiration to me and I recently started my own blog. It’s invitation only, but if you send me an email at huggableteach@gmail.com I’d love to invite you.
I resisted reading Eat Pray Love for a long time because I assumed it was a chick book, and also because I was jealous of its success since I’ve just published my own spiritual memoir, called The 99th Monkey. I almost didn’t make it through the “Eat” part in Italy, which contained too much, uhm…well, eating. But she actually won me over at the ashram in India, and after her Bali love story I started packing my bags, but then I remembered I’m already in love.
My book is sort of a male version of Gilbert’s book, except I don’t eat much, and I completely fail to get enlightened. You can read the prologue here to see if it grabs you: http://www.the99thmonkey.com
Cheers!
Eliezer Sobel, author of
The 99th Monkey:
A Spiritual Journalist’s Misadventures with Gurus, Messiahs, Sex, Psychedelics and Other Consciousness-Raising Experiments
Oh good! I am so glad to find someone else who couldn’t deal with Eat, Pray, Love. It just struck me as pretentious and whiny and I still haven’t finished it because she annoyed me so much. I haven’t even finished it, which is something I never do. If you’re in the mood for a book about an American traveling and being amazing, I just finished Three Cups of Tea and highly recommend it.
Never even tried to read it….EPL that is….
Um, so, yeah…… remember when I said I would mail you Raising Your Spirited Child, and then I never did?
Yeah, that was b/c I still have the spirited child….. who is currently acting out b/c of our move and other fun adventures……
so sorry about that…good thing you gave up on me and bought your own, pretty soon we’ll be able to compare notes and trade stories….nothin’ like misery and company-JUST KIDDING!!!!! No misery, abosolutely no misery…
I’ve had several people recommend the book to me, but I am afraid I would have the same reaction. I love it when I hear about the rich sacrificing their fortunes to help the needy for a month or plunder parts of another religion’s culture to gain some sort of self awareness they couldn’t find in their back yard. Maybe you truly have to lose yourself to find yourself…I’m just glad I didn’t have to go that far.
I am curious about the spirited child book. I don’t yet have a child, let alone a spirited one, but I keep hoping!
I am so buying that book. My child is getting more and more spirited each day. Earlier this week she bloodied her nose when she fell off the table. That would be the same table I have been telling her to stay away from. I thought that might have cured the climbing thing until an hour later when I found her climbing onto the table. I have to get that book.
Hi there! I’m a friend of Kelly (and Lucy!) in Dallas and meant to reply earlier to see if I can access your protected posts. Anything about seeing dead people has my curiosity piqued
Also-LOVE the spirited child book! my son definitely fits in this category, and SHOCKER! my MIL says my husband was the same way.
AND-we’re going to florida TODAY…I need to email Kelly and find out when you guys arrive…we’ll probably just miss you (darn it!) but it would have been fun to meet in real life (not in a stalkerish way, I promise
)
Jen
Hi there,
I would love your password so that I can continue reading about your daily hectic but seemingly wonderfully full life of chaos! I have 4 children (10 year old twin boys, a 5 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old daughter), so I know a bit about your day to day life, but unlike you, I have a HUGE gap in years between my kids (other than the twins)……you’re one tough cookie!!! ;o) Thanks for the password!
Hi,
I read you for some weeks. I am questionning about adoption and I really like your family, your way of live.
I would like to read more on your blog, so if you are ok, could you send me the password on my e-mail: al_jourdren@hotmail.com
Sorry for my bad english…
Ooh, would love the password, pretty please!
prayingmiraclebaby at yahoo
Muchas gracias!!!
FINALLY - I was waiting for someone to say that book was well not very good. I can read a good book in a day and that Eat Pray Love book took me FOREVER to read - I was not overly impressed even though I liked some of the concepts - but I kept thinking the whole time, how much money does this lady have, really?
As for the Spirited Child book I am bookmarking this post as I bet I will have at least one of those!
can i get a password? I read your blog via emily’s (from looking from lulu). we are old friends from childhood. I also did Bradley method so was tuning in for the birth of Finley.
I would love to read your protected post but understand if you don’t want to share it.
I also have a blog for my little girl that I would be happy to share with you.
thanks!
anne
anne_willette@yahoo.com
This is some funny shit! And after reading it I both hated and loved it at the same time. I sometimes wonder where my rent will come from, while others have a few cars parked in their garage. Life can be so hilarious! Her next book… it’s set in Vietnam!
I’m going to get that spirited child book. I have one of those that almost put me in spirited tears a few times yesterday. Joy!
Oh and I’ll take a password too…
i would like to have the password for the protected posts. i stumbled across your blog and have been enjoying reading them. i wonder how you handle 3 babies in such a short span of age. mine were 12 years apart, so actually it was like having two families. we loved it! thanks, jo anne
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I did NOT like that book either! The whole thing was just weird! I did read the whole book, but it wasn’t that great! I almost stopped after the first chapter, but I kept thinking “It HAS to get better!” Nope!
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