The Tet Fret and Our Game Plan
Happy New Year everyone! I thought our New Year’s Eve was a comical piece of foreshadowing for 2008: Jackson passed out at 6:30pm, so we ordered room service and a bottle of champagne, but fell asleep at 10:30pm before we’d even opened the bubbly! I’ve already told Travis he’d better have several bottles of champagne AND a HUGE platter of sushi (yes, I finally gave that up for pregnancy too) waiting in my delivery suite. Same thing will probably happen there too though! So this NYE didn’t quite compare to last our last couple - 3 years ago was a wild time in Budapest, 2 years ago was a blast in Peru, and last year was wonderful with family Florida, right after we’d gotten home from Vietnam with Jackson. Ah well, let’s hope 2008 brings more Goods and lots of greatness;) I really crack myself up!
Ok, before I get into the not-so-fun part of my post, I’ll share something exciting…got my first “GIRL” guess by a Vietnamese woman assessing the belly today. Here’s a recent picture (29+ weeks) so you can judge for yourself using whatever old wives’ tales you know:
Here’s something else shocking: guess what Shane did today…yup, fell asleep in my arms. I am loving this napping concept!
Everything Travis does makes him laugh, smile, and giggle. I, on the other hand, have this effect on him, which is just fine by me! Shane’s nannies have told us that now, when we’re not there holding him, he just cries constantly. I don’t know if that makes me feel good or bad! A little of both, I guess.
So, at this point, I’m starting to wonder if all my kids will have been born in Vietnam! On the bright side, they’d all gain Vietnamese citizenship. Seriously though, we’re really hoping for approval in this week’s batch, but we realize that’s not the most likely scenario. We’re thinking we have a more realistic shot at getting it next week. Either way, we’ve decided we really have to find a way to stay here. Tet is rapidly approaching (Feb. 7th) and the number of applications awaiting approval is also mounting; according to our count, only 9 have gone out to date. It’s likely that a bunch will go out this week, and hopefully next week too, but there’s obviously still a huge backlog.
Since CIS is planning to stick to that 60 day timeframe we were all initially quoted, it means many of us will be coming up on that at the end of January. Our 60 days is up on January 18th. If we’re looking at a worst case scenario here, which seems to be what we’re moving towards with the pace of the US gov’t, a wave of approvals will be due to be issued right before Tet…just in time for there to be no affordable or available flights into the country, really expensive internal transportation, not to mention the Vietnamese gov’t shutting down for nearly a month! Sorry to be “Downer Debbie” (aka medical school Laurie) again, but that is seeming like the very harsh reality for those of us this new policy has screwed affected. In other words, if we leave now without Shane, it probably won’t be feasible to travel for him until close to the beginning of March. Since Belly Baby is due the 2nd week of that month, it means Travis wouldn’t really be able to go until probably the end of March, and I’m just not alright with that. I know I am coming off as very self-centered at the moment, worrying only about my own family, but I have also thought about what this will mean for the others stuck in this new process too. I truly feel for them and hope that their adoptions are also not as delayed by this as we are all fearing.
It kills me to think about how this I-600 stuff is playing out for the babies - so many will be spending significant extra time in orphanages. Why? Because of a small handful of agencies who employ people willing to do disgusting things to falsify orphan status, or who were so damn sloppy and careless with their paperwork that they brought into question the legitimacy of an orphan’s abandonment in an attempt to rush out referrals. Now those families are stuck in terrible situations, as are those of us with other agencies, all of which have been subject to the new I-600 policy. Yeah, I’m pissed about it. And I know this is an extreme statement, but sometimes I wonder who’s worse off: the families waiting for I-600 approvals while their babies spend extra months laying on bamboo mats in poorly funded orphanages, or those families who have had their G&Rs, are living with their babies in Vietnam, and are now fighting NOIDs, the majority of whom are likely to have their NOIDs overturned due to the disparity in resources…big time attorneys battling an overstretched, understaffed, government agency with limited resources. Not to pit us against them because both situations totally blow, and I don’t blame those poor families, just their agencies. It’s just that 1 of these situations affects families with innocent agencies and is much worse for their babies in the short-term. I say the short-term because when it’s all said and done, I would rather my kid spend an extra 2 months in an orphanage as opposed to having to explain to him when he’s a questioning teenager that his orphan status came into doubt and we had to pay a big time lawyer to fight for his visa. Obviously, I wouldn’t rather be sitting here with a NOID. I’m just presenting an extremist perspective for argument’s sake. And because I’m frustrated.
Anyway, back to our situation here. Staying here means a few things: 1) I’ll be traveling more pregnant than I’d hoped, but as long as we’re en route home by 34 weeks pregnant, I’m ok with that (eek, I know) 2) Travis will be missing a LOT of school - since he’s done pretty well up to this point and he’s been a self-learner (read: never goes to class) from the start, his school has been very flexible with him (thank God he didn’t go to Georgetown for med school;). Depending on when our approval finally does come through, Travis may stay for the G&R, then fly home with Jackson so he can minimize the amount of school he misses. We would go through the drill of getting me Power of Attorney so I can stay with Shane and finish the rest of the paperwork (medical, passport, visa interview).
So that’s our plan. It sucks, but it’s the best we’ve got at this point. The part I’m most worried about is having to get POA and staying here without Jackson. It’d mean I might have to be away from him for ~1 week. This will be REALLY hard for me, and for him. I can count the number of times I’ve been away from him on 1 hand, and the only time it was more than 3 hours was the day I took boards, which was still only 8 or 9 hours. I thought that was bad! I guess I’m also a little worried about the long flights home potentially by myself, with a new baby, cankles, and a huge belly that makes bending over a little challenging. No one said this would be easy, but I didn’t imagine it would play out quite like this either. Wish us luck!
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27 comments
I hope that there will be the best possible outcome to all of this…which is that you will get approval this week. One can only live in hope right?
Just wanted to let you know: Even here in Germany, fingers are crossed for a speedy approval!
Hoping and praying you get your approval as soon as possible because I do NOT want you travelling 34 weeks pregnant!! Especially if Travis has to come home early. Fingers are crossed!
The is the worst time of the year to be waiting on something in VN - between our holidays and theirs it feels like something is always closed down. I remember feeling SO frustrated about that and I didn’t have a growing baby ticking away the days inside me! I think for the US side of things that because Travis has seen Shane, you can get the good kind of visa even if he’s not there for the 2nd interview- don’t know about all the POA stuff… I wonder, maybe you could call the embassy and just ask them what the protocols would be and maybe they could give you a sense of how soon your approval might be coming? (If you get the right person on the phone, I guess…) Just a thought. I’m praying for your family and all the others delayed by the new I600 process, I’d love to see a huge batch of approvals come out tomorrow!! (Hey, a girl can hope, right?)
Take care of you… and belly baby too!!
Happy New Year…ours was just as exciting!! Hoping you get news soon. Take care of all your babies : )
Happy New Year!! So good that you guys can be flexible through this- I don’t think it is self-centered at all- you have to do what is right/best for you and the family!
If you have to do POA it is not that hard. David and I had to do that as well. Your agency will be able to let you know what documents you will need. The US embassy is great to work with when it comes to getting all your documents notorized. I think the only time I had to show the docs was for Ian’s passport, and of course to get the IR3 visa. Since Travis has already seen Shawn he will be able to get the IR3 Visa as well.
I really hope it doesn’t come down to having to get a POA however! Is GranJoe going to stay with you?
Praying for you everyday!
I really envy how your family just makes difficult decisions and makes the best of it. I don’t blame you for being frustrated - it really sucks the selfish greed has put all these families and babies in this crappy situation. Those who chose carefully get punished and that’s screwed up. The holiday timing does NOT help. I really hope next week is YOUR week!
I think it is a boy too. You’re carrying high and centered. I carried low and wide both times and they were girls. But who knows.
I really feel for you guys and the decisions you have had to make. I’ll be praying for you here in MN too.
Some random thoughts: Will you be changing your blog name to Pho for Five after belly baby is born??? I like your coat they made. You don’t even look pregnant in that straight-on picture. Are you going to hook me up with Jeremy when you get back home?
Take care!
Lina
Praying for you! I need you to all get to come home together. I will be worried sick about you being travelling alone with Shane being that preggers. I just love the new pictures of Shane. He is going to transition so well since he has gotten to know you guys through all of these visits.
Hey Laurie! I tried to post before, but don’t think it went through. I just wanted to say that I am following your story and praying you get the I-600 any day now! I cannot believe how long it has taken for another batch to be completed! I met your family (mom, dad, bro and sis) on my way home from Hanoi. They were absolutely lovely and very worried for you! I agree with what you said in your post and don’t know what I would do in your situation either! You are torn so many ways and you are right, the flight is very difficult. I will pray that you get a best case scenario, rather than worst case!
Take care,
Karen Wall
Hi Laurie, you certainly are a trooper! Next New Year you will definitely look back and realize what an amazing experience you survived. You are an inspiration to us waiting PAP’s. I’m praying for you and your family!
Shere’
Hang in there (or out there
Luck. I have good feelings that we will hear something this week or next. Keep the spirits up.
Cindy
Hi Laurie,
I feel for you guys and hope that everything clears up soon. I can relate to all your frustrations, as I’m sure many of us waiting parents can. I believe that everything will work out for us all and wish you guys all the best for 2008. Be safe and healthy in Vietnam!
Hugs, Shari
My poor pukey friend! Yep, barf-phobia is still intact, though I’m getting better
I’m going to weigh in on the baby prediction and say that you’re having a GIRL. Shane looks sweeter and sweeter in every picture - remember back in the day when you weren’t sure how to love anything as much as your little Jackson? Looks like Shane has captured your heart 
Take care of you and BB, and I’m praying for a speedy and safe return for all of you. I’d love to support Al, Jeremy and Kaakpema by donating. Miss and love you!!!
Ok-
So the low/high stuff is a bunch of crap. I carried low & wide with both of my bio kids(but not with my adopted one, I crack myself up)and the second kiddo everyone swore was a girl b/c I carried so low and wide, nope-er he was a boy…..
I think it has a lot more to do with how your body is made(how you carry) than the gender of the baby(I’m tall and pear shaped, hence the low & wide)
I have to say I am freaking out a bit about you still being over there, Bailey was born at 36 weeks and Sam was born a little over 35….
COME ONE APPROVAL!!!!!!!!
I know that you guys will get through this, but I pray that you get a break here soon, surely there are only so many difficul decisions one should have to make?
I came across your very informative blog about 3 weeks ago and have been following your story since. My husband and I pray for your family everyday. I’m so impressed with your knowledge and if it’s alright I have a question. Do you think it’s a good idea to enter into a Vietnam adoption right now? My husband and I started our home study in early November and are now in the emmigration/ translation stage. We are doing the adoption on our own. We have family in Vietnam assisting us - but other than that are on our own. We planned to fly over in March to submit our dossier to the embassy and wait for a match. But I’ve been reading everywhere that things are so volitile. I’m wondering from your close perspective if we should move forward or not? I want so much to adopt from Vietnam as does my husband….but I’d hate to get all of our paper work over there and then have them close down to the U.S. again. Thank you for any input to my question. We will continue to keep you all in our prayers.
I check obsessively several times a day, along with all the other blogs of those waiting for approval, hoping that it has come. I know it will happen in the next week or two, but waiting for something over which you have no control just plain sucks. It’s hard to believe that just a small handful of us rec’d approval, then nothing. It sounds like you have a great plan, though, and it’s great that you’re already there so that when your approval comes, your G&R can happen ASAP and you won’t have to worry about getting to Vietnam during such a busy time. I’ll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and of course keep coming back for the good news!
This is going to be some tale to tell your kids!! Hope you all come home soon! Happy New Year!
Yes, there are a lot of things to worry about, but I am continually amazed at how well things seem to go for you guys! You must have some great Greek luck raining on you!
ANd if you’re like me, then looking at the worst case scenario only leads to pleasant surprises when things happen sooner!
I think you are SO VERY BLESSED to have this time with Shane. You’ll have all these wonderful photos for your family books. It’s great you were able to travel over there now, rather than stay in the States and twiddle your thumbs while you wonder how he’s really doing over there….. All this extra and important bonding time, in his familiar environment, ought to make the transition on everyone easier once you’re able to leave the orphanage.
I’ll pray you all get to leave TOGETHER and ASAP!!!!! In the mean time, thanks again for sharing this awesome journey and all these great pics!!!!! Wow. What a great way to keep these memories for your children!
Wishing you and your beautiful family the best of luck on what must be an extremely frustrating yet exciting journey. I always look forward to your updates and pictures and hope your approval finally comes.
Good luck and I hope you get your approval soon and are able to get home as a whole family and not in pieces!
Hi Laurie-
I was hoping that when I checked your blog today that it be the ‘good news’ day. But, I’m sure that day will be here soon. We’ve been missing you and Jackson. Thinking of y’all often.
So you know all those people who got those senators to lobby the Embassy when they were maybe going to get NOIDS??
I HAVE A PLAN(no pun intended)-
We get your friends, family and readership to lobby your senators…..seriously, am I brilliant or what????
Crud–I was hoping when I checked this am there would be news.
I’m so glad you’ve had this time with Shane to bond. What a wonderful experience! I am so very worried about you and baby belly though. I hope you go home soon - like this week!
Wishing you safe travels,
Erin
P.S. My guess is a boy too!
Keep your chin up! Hope everything will come through soon. My cousin and her husband are waiting on adoption from Vietnam.
PS. The first time my husband and I went to dinner w/o our first child, we ate and was back in less than an hour! My mother-in-law laughed at us!
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