The Simple Life
It sure feels like we lived it a few months ago; as crazy and chaotic as life was then, it didn’t compare to this new life with 3 wild toddlers, a pregnant intern for a mom, and a dad who sporadically travels to a far away coast to wine and dine potential investors. This week was hard, really hard. I pretty much didn’t see my kids for 3 days, didn’t sleep more than 5 hours any night this week, and probably cried 6 of 7 days. <sigh> I am really sad to say I don’t like medicine very much right now, and I hate what I’m having to sacrifice to be in it. I’m tired of missing out on my kids lives to be at the hospital watching people die. It’s depressing on both fronts. Internal medicine is not really my thing. About 75% of internal medicine patients are over 75, and that is not really an exaggeration. And I’d say 75 would be on the young side for the hospital service I’m on right now.
On top of other stress, I had an exposure yesterday that really freaked me out…a possible infectious disease that, as a pregnant intern, I have been afraid of encountering. After researching shingles in pregnancy, I think my risk of badness is extremely low, especially since I’ve had chicken pox and even if I hadn’t, it’s still not likely my pregnancy would be affected. But it was enough to make me worry for a few hours yesterday and have to spend a little time looking it. I didn’t need that.
Today was my day off. It was an AWESOME day off, all the way until this evening when Fin fell off a chair at Chipotle and cracked the back of her head open. I didn’t realize she’d hit her head until I scooped her up and felt something wet spilling onto my arm. I was pretty sure we were going to have to take her to the ED for stitches, but Travis and I got the bleeding to stop without that. Fin is the toughest little thing on the planet, thankfully. She just wanted to eat her burrito and drink a “beered” (beer) to make her feel better;) So we went home and did just that. Before you call CPS, Finley thinks Izzy with lime in a frozen mug is a beer, so it’s all good. [what you can’t see in the picture, nor could she, thankfully, is the blood matted hair on the back of her head]
As for the good parts, we went to the Dragon Boat Festival today in celebration of Asian Pacific heritage. We’ve gone every year we’ve been here and we always love it.
Travis’ mom is out here with us, which is a great thing for the kids and has been very helpful to us too. Travis left for Boston at 3:30am on Friday morning and came back at 2am that night, so she was here to help our nanny, Jen, with the kids that very long day until I came home.
Anyway, the festival was fantastic. Afterwards, my MIL and I had a chance to run to the mall while the kids napped today and I finally got myself some pants. It’s weird how fast this pregnancy is going, but I swear, it’s been ALL OF THE SUDDEN that this huge belly has popped out of nowhere. I’m 21+ weeks now and the belly band over my regular dress pants is becoming uncomfortable. And because I have such incredibly kind people who read this blog and offer support, I have had people send me maternity clothes too!! Can you believe that? I am SO grateful, I can’t even begin to tell you.
So, after the Chipotle drama, we did a fun little dessert craft with the kids. Worms in mud. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just get some gummy worms, chocolate pudding, and oreos. Let the kids mash the oreos with mallets (they love that part), put them at the bottom of a clear plastic cup. Then put a chocolate pudding layer on top. Last, have them drop the worms in the mix and stir it all up. It was disgusting to watch, but Jack, Shane, and Fin had such a blast searching for and eating their worms and the mud / dirt. Especially since they’re still obsessed with pretending to be baby birds!
Here are a few other pictures from the past few weeks that I’m just now getting off my computer. The first couple are from my day off last week – took my MIL and the kids up to Boulder Creek on the most beautiful day and had a wonderful time.
My kids have been playing “doctor” a LOT lately. The role playing is adorable, and Finley goes around saying to everyone she meets, “I’m a dot-tor.” Sadly, I kind of hope my kids are only role playing and I never hear any of them say that for real. Maybe that’s just intern year talking and I’ll change my mind down the road, but for now that’s how I feel and I’m just being honest about it.
I love this picture of my Yiayia and my Finley:
That’s all for my stream-of-consciousness ramblings tonight. Sorry if it was a downer…again. Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon? Like next year when I’m no longer an internal medicine intern?!! Ahhh, just got keep banging my head against this brick wall for now. I’ll eventually crack it. The wall I mean.
Hope you all are doing well, and I hope you understand why I’m so out of touch if you’ve emailed me in the last few weeks and I haven’t responded. Almost forgot – PLEASE check out our SkinnyKidz sale!!! LOTS of our belts are on sale as we get ready to bring in our fall prints, which are adorable, btw. Don’t forget to check it out.
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15 comments
It’s not a downer - its just how you feel right now. Don’t hide your feelings, otherwise it wouldn’t be you. You have every right to feel down. Honestly - just having that little sleep would put me in a blind rage, never mind having to deal with all the medical stuff you’re dealing with on top of no sleep. It IS your intern year talking and in a couple of months you’ll be done, and a few months after that, it will be a distant memory.
Chin up!
I can’t imagine how hard it must be…I will be thinking of you as we enjoy Denver this week. Maybe we will meet some day! I am anxiously awaiting my skinny kidz belts I just ordered for Aiden!
Oh I can’t imagine how you are doing it…prayers for you and your family. I saw a lot of terminally ill children in the PICU whose parents did not want to take them off life support. That is more understandable perhaps than keeping your 90 year old Grandpa on a vent, but seeing suffering like that day after day was hard nevertheless. It really takes a toll on you as a person and as a health care provider.
I don’t mean to put anything else on your to do list- but I was wanting to order a skinny kidz belt for my niece and I couldn’t find anywhere on the website where there is a description of what the sizes of the belts correspond to. Did I just stupidly miss it? If there is a link or a size chart somewhere could you link me to it? Thanks so much.
I just received another Skinny Kidz belt I ordered
So adorable! Hang in there, Laur. Being an intern is tough. That sux that your medicine service is all old people right now. Ours here is the opposite of the spectrum - we have a psych hospital crisis in NC right now, and they are all full, so our inpatient services are full of young psychotic or suicidal/post-overdose people. Awesome. It also seems on my ICU rotation right now that all the old birds are un-killable despite their DNR status, and we are losing the 30-50 year olds like mad. Talk about depressing. There is no glory in this profession. Just hope we can preserve any humanity there is left?
it’s you! thanks for the update. it’s always so good to hear what you & the fam have been up to. i don’t know how you do it, laur. seriously, you have nerves of steel. hang in there. hey, where is the belly pic? can’t imagine you weighing over a buck ten!
I can never be in medicine practice, I do not have the nerves, and it is too scary for me, to witness the pain, sufferings. You are so strong and determine, you will get over this roughness period, and with being pregnant, it certainly makes things harder to handle, good things your family are always willing to help out. The kids are growing so fast, they are so affectionate to each other.
Venting your honest thoughts is a good thing! Just keep plugging away and hopefully intern year will be a distant memory, or errr…nightmare!
The kids are adorable! Fin is a tough little stinker, which definitely works in her favor, right? Your kids are so sweet and love their role playing! We need belly pics soon. Hope the rest of your week goes well! Take care and try and get some sleep!
Several months ago I was called into the ED unexpectedly on a Sunday. I don’t have any childcare options on the weekends so Duc came with me. Within minutes of arriving the nurses had pulled him out of his stroller and were passing him around like a bag of chips. I caught sight of him talking to a couple of doctors in the consult room. One of the docs was showing him the computers and another was showing him some digital x-rays. One of those doctors was raised by a nurse and grew up with this and I thought “oh please Jesus, no. I don’t want my son to be a doctor!” Maybe it is selfish, but I wish for him to have a work-life balance. Short of being an ED physician I don’t think that will happen.
Yikes for poor Finley! Those are the kinds of mama things that send me in a tizzy. I can’t handle my baby in pain. Or bleeding.
Love the pic of Fin in the cage. Otherwise your thoughts aren’t a downer, just life. Keira plays Doctor constantly. I think it’s just natural with all the Doctors/Therapists/Etc she sees and it’s probably the same for your 3.
Also saw your comment about the kids playing doctor. I feel the same way about my girls, actually. If medicine were their passion I would support it, but I think I will try to steer them in different directions, or let them know there are medical jobs without actually being the physician. It’d be different if I had a son. I think men in medicine have a different experience, sexist though it may seem. SAHD’s are awesome, but few and far between unfortunately. Glad I did it in retrospect because I am *almost* done, but not sure the lack of work-life balance for the first 4 years of Ashlyn’s life was the best way to raise her. Oh well. We do the best we can with what we have. And there’s no way in hell I am working full time after next June. Maybe NEVER! hahaha
This is an odd question… but we have the same exact Buzz Lightyear toy. We can’t figure out how to change the batteries in the toy. And of course, we threw out the instructions (who knew we’d need them?!)
So, if you’ve changed his batteries… how? How did you get those wings off to access the battery compartment??
i am sick about Fin’s accident and I feel worse that u are in such a terrible state about ur job.Not good for u or the baby.Please hang on and know that we are always thinking of u and it is so waful to be so far away from u.Love u so much and a big kiss to the wee ones and especially to my adorable Lil Fin
I wish i had something to say that would help.
Nothing, I got nothing.
thinking… praying…. for all of you…
hugs
Laurie,
Sorry life is crazy and depressing, but glad you had an extra loving hand with you this week. I was in maternity clothes much faster the second time around; it’s probably the elasticity of your skin or something? I also thought that it was about being comfortable-the first time I didn’t want to “look” pregnant until I needed to. The second time, I was like, I’m too old (still in my teens then) to put up with discomfort. I also went through about a month of crashing in my supper plate at around month 4, I think, and then things got better, so maybe you’ve got something to look forward to.
All my best
Reinforcements are great! It has to be so hard for you with your schedule and Travis being on the road. I can feel for you on the exposure to infectious diseases…it seems like we ran across that three different times during my pg with Morgan at daycare and J working in the hospital. I was always a basket case!
Hugs–don’t forget to send me your address again for the clothes. Most of my stuff is fall/winter so no rush, but I would like my things to go to a good home
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