23/30: Kids and Sports
Kristina – this is to answer your question:) In my last post, I mentioned talking with Travis and friends about kids in sports, things we appreciated growing up, and things we might do differently with our kids. We don’t know how we’ll answer all these questions for our own family, which is why it’s a topic I like talking about. What we do know is that, while competitive sports can offer athletic kids tremendous opportunities (educational, social, physical, and even financial), a LOT is sacrificed for those opportunities. Travis and I know that from firsthand experience.
OMG! I just spent an hour writing about this topic, but my computer died in the middle of it (I was sitting on the couch without my power cord, not paying attention to battery life!) and I lost the entire rest of this post. The 1st paragraph is all that remains:( Boo. I’m running with my neighbor / friend insanely early tomorrow, so I’m not even going to attempt to rewrite this post tonight. I’ll just leave you with 1 question if you feel like helping me through my “lost post” misery…"what are your thoughts on putting your kids in competitive sports (if they have the ability and desire)? What tradeoffs do you see, and what are you willing to endure? What do you hope they gain from being involved in that world? Would you hope your child chooses / excels in team sports or individual sports?” Feel free to share your thoughts on any of those questions.
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I think this is a great topic! My husband and I both were involved in competitive sports, though his were through school (baseball and basketball) in middle and high school, and I did gymnastics for 8 years, competing for 5. From my own experience, gymnastics is something I hope my daughter does not get interested in. I have a lot of problematic physical ailments in my adulthood (joint pain, weakness, etc.) from working out 30-40 hours a week for so many years, and it was super expensive for my parents, too. In addition, I didn’t compensate well enough with physical activity when I quit doing gymnastics, so I gained a lot of weight very quickly, and have had a problem with being able to lose weight effectively ever since. That being said, I hope my daughter will want to do some competitive sports, and I will support her in whatever sports she chooses, even if it’s gymnastics. We plan to reinforce physical activity starting at a young age. My husband and I are both very active now, me as a runner and him in just working out regularly.
Oh, that totally blows that your post got eaten!
Sports are something that was a big part of my life and not a big part of my husband’s. I grew up playing team sports and gymnastics, and then I was a rower in college at a D1 school. He had a different type of childhood and never really got the chance to do anything like that - his parents didn’t prioritize it and therefore he didn’t have the opportunity.
Sports are something I hope our kids have the opportunity to experience - the teamwork, how to win and lose graciously, how to manage time when a lot of things are challenging that time, how to be a leader and how to know when to fall back. I see *all* of those things as being part of the benefits of a sports team, and even if our kid has two left feet, I hope they have the opportunity to play little league or something! But if our kids have no interest in sports, and, say, likes to act or paint or play an instrument? A lot of those benefits from sports that I mentioned also happen in acting, or playing in a band or orchestra. There may not be the winning/losing aspect (which was the best part, in my experience), but some kids don’t thrive on that.
The costs? Well, tons. There were tons of costs, from my grades in college to the number of injuries in high school to the pressure to make (and maintain) weight in both high school and college. And no matter what I say *now*, like “I will know when it gets too hot, and I will pull my kid out,” I know that that’s not always a reality. I think you just do the best you can in setting expectations for kids and hope that they are comfortable saying “uncle” when they need to.
That’s just my opinion…my long opinion. Sorry!
Also, I didn’t edit that comment…sorry for all of the mis-matched subject/verbs. Apparently we don’t know if we will have one or more kids. We’re still praying for one! LOL.
I rarely micro manage my little girl about anything besides basics, like safety etc.
She has a mind of her own and is a force unto herself. It’s up to her. Some things she has tried and decided she didn’t like to do on a regular basis (so far gym & soccer) somethings she loves like swimming, Kung Fu, and mountain climbing (we live near an Earth Treks).
If she does not want to go I never insist (not a big believer in finishing what you start- a lot of what you start is not worth finishing).
I always liked running and martial arts but besides the full contact boxing aspects of martial arts, I am not a team person and I don’t like competition.
My little girl is very different then me, very social and likes competition and that is great.
Sports.. what a hot topic, oddly enough.
I fully intend to encourage my children to participate in sports. Sports were a huge part of my growing up, but not of my future husband’s life. He swam, but nothing else… I played softball from age 4 till I was 19 in all sorts of leagues and traveling teams, went to state and nationals and put my heart and soul into it. I got by in other sports but the encouragement I got from excelling at softball have made me a better person, in my opinion. I also did marching band (which I consider a sport since I trained harder for it than Karate), became black belt in Shotokan Karate and tried sports like soccer, hockey, basketball and some others. Sports were big for me.
I don’t think you should do loads of sports or force your children, but I will hope and pray and nudge my children in the area of sports and hopefully they will catch on. I hope they find one sport they want to excell at.
Is there downsides? Yeah. I have tendonitis in my ankles and wrists. I’ve had knee surgery, blown out my shoulder, I can’t run without a fancy ankle brace… but the good that I’ve had outweighs the bads, in my opinion (though I’m only 24, so in 20 or so years I may be cursing letting my body be damaged from sports lol).
If my kids DONT want to do sports, no big deal. As long as they find something they are good at and enjoy and stick with it.. something that makes them want to try harder and be a better person, than go for it! As long as they don’t just quit everything because it’s “too hard” or they don’t want to work then that is okay. You may want ot play baseball one summer.. if you are signed up you will be there.. and if next summer you don’t wanna ever play it again that is fine… you made a commitment, stuck with it, and found you didn’t like it. A-Okay by me.
Okay so I wrote a novella. This is a heavily talked about topic in our household so it’s exciting to get to talk about it elsewhere! YAY open topics!
I feel like the old lady here since my kids are older (I’m presuming from the comments above) so I’ve already started down this pathway. Our goal has been to help the kids find a sport that they enjoy and to encourage them in it. Soccer seems to be the sport of choice for 3 of the 4. Tae kwon do is the choice of our oldest. The younger two kids also rotate through some other seasonal sports such as basketball. So far most of this has been at the rec level although I can see the younger two kids taking us to higher levels of soccer (one is on a select team already). I have watched and listened to parents whose kids are in the elite clubs and I have to say that I don’t envy their time and financial commitment. Of course I want my kids to succeed to their highest potential, but I also want to be putting away some $$ for their education and not spend it all on soccer right now. I hope that whatever level our kids take on, I don’t become one of “those” moms - you know the kind, talking down the other kids, other parents, etc. Ugh.
I really want to instill the love of activity in my kids. I was a swimmer into highschool. I don’t have activity in my life now and have been battling my weight for years. I especially want my kids to incorporate this into their lives and enjoy it as much as adults as they do while kids.
My husband was into football all his life, but neither of my kids have been into any sport (they are 26 and 21). Funnily enough, I was only speaking to my son this very evening and saying how he should learn to ski whilst he is young enough. Europe has some great resorts and he should give it a go. Not competitively but for fun!
I do want my kids to learn the important lessons that sports can teach- team work, winning and losing with poise, responsibility, etc. as well as know how important it is to get excercise. I am soo not a team sports person (too much of a perfectionist to let anyone else down but myself). I did gymnastics/dance for 8 years and later got a black belt in karate. Like the first comment, I don’ t know if I want Ava to go down the gynmastics route, but I think she’d be way too tall to be competative anyway. I would like her to try something she may like, and she’s already in dance and loves it. Oddly, I would be all for Binh in gymnastics. He loves it already and I think he just be so happy. I’d also like them to try martial arts (perhaps just ’cause I did? Shame on me) but I think it teaches some things that other sports don’t (at least not as well). I’m open to team sports, but just for fun. I’d actually much rather my kids get scholorships for academics than for sports. In general, the body breaks down much earlier than the brain!
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