Category — education

First, THANK YOU guys, that was such helpful input on the School Age and Montessori posts.  Clearly I had no idea how to even spell Montessori (I spelled it Montessouri a bunch and couldn’t figure out why spell check wouldn’t get off my ass;)…or kool-aid, for that matter (it’s really not coolaid?!).  There were also so many insightful comments on the School Age post from people who have been there, done that as parents of grown kids and/or teachers, as well as people like us who are currently debating this very issue.  We are strongly leaning towards delaying Jack, but we’ll see how this year goes and try to keep an open mind about things.  I loved what 1 commenter said about gifted kids - they don’t get bored, they just find different ways / levels on which to enjoy the same activities.  I can see that in Jack, and I think the right school could bring that out in him, even if he was in preschool twice.  Also, I know every kid is different, and there are some very mature 17 year olds and some very immature 19 year olds, but my point is more that the same kid might make wiser decisions at 19 years old than he would have at 17 years old.  Someone else also reiterated my thought that all the brains in the world cannot compensate for emotional and social immaturity, and I think a child will get a lot more educationally if they are secure in those other areas.  As Kristina suggested, "fine in the classroom, miserable on the playground" is such a bummer way to spend kindergarten and possible beyond and his social development and emotional growth is every bit as important to me as his academic advancement; I just don’t ever want Jack to feel uncomfortable in social settings..  So we’ll see I guess, but we’re going in very open to delaying Jack’s entry into kindergarten. 

My new education question / topic is the issue of age mixing in the classroom.  You know, the programs that do the 3’s and 4’s combined, or even 2-4 combined?  I know lots of Montessori’s do this, but so do many many other schools.  What have peoples’ experiences been with this?  Personally, I have watched a few friends deal with issues related to a mixed age classroom recently and I’m terrified of it, especially for a kid like Jack.  Consider these 2 scenarios (both happened to IRL friends):

1)  Small Montessori program with 2-4’s together.  One student is 2.5, does great in the class, and her mom tells me the older kids in the room are extremely tolerant and helpful with the younger kids.  It fosters a great social dynamic where older kids help lead the way for younger ones, etc.  The 2.5 year old’s mom then admits the class is almost entirely female (I think there were 1 or 2 boys, both younger and very mellow) and that if there had been a rambunctious boy or 2 in her daughter’s class (she glances at Jack while she says this) the dynamic would’ve been TOTALLY different.  NOTE: I recently spoke to my neighbor and apparently things changed since I wrote this a few months ago.  Her daughter will start at a new school since the dynamic in this mixed-age classroom did change and the age difference became an issue.

2)  ECE program that mixes 2-4’s.  One little guy turned was just barely old enough to make the cut and is a rowdy boy like Jack (and very bright).  That little guy gravitated towards the oldest kid in the classroom who turned 4 exactly at the cut-off and is also a very rambunctious boy with some, um, aggressive / bullying tendencies on top of his high energy.  The teachers have a challenging situation to diffuse because the older boy is the leader of the younger boys, who are eager to follow the oldest boy’s lead.  The older boy watches older boy TV, plays older boy games, belittles younger boys who want to spend time in the dress-up station, etc.  I think her son does derive a lot of positive things from that friendship, but I can’t help but wonder how that would have played out for Jack.  And for Jack, I don’t think anything positive could have come out of that relationship (Jack and my friend’s son are very different kids). 

I don’t see any potential benefit to Jack of being in a mixed age classroom.  I am terrified of the dynamic in scenario 2 because I think it’s natural for the older kids to lead, and there’s such a huge difference, emotionally and socially, at these ages between kids just 1 year apart.  I can see Jack gravitating towards the bullyish kid and 1 of 2 things happening: 1) taking on those bullying qualities and exaggerating behaviors and tendencies we’re really trying to downplay in Jack (this outcome would especially be awful for his little brother and sister!), or 2) having a very damaged self-esteem as a result of that dynamic.  I can see the potential benefits of mixing ages for a kid like Shane - he is so social, so gentle, loves learning from his peers, and I don’t worry at all about him becoming a bully when he’s the oldest kid in the class (although I do worry about him getting crowded out and lost, but that’d be the case with any school and is exactly why I will not consider daycare or anything like that for him). 

I have to preempt this with my/Trav’s parenting philosophy because I know a few of you might be inclined to say "kids will be kids and they need to figure out how to work those things out."  I think that is true to a large degree when our kids are in middle school or high school.  At those ages I think we, as parents, need to have given our kids the tools necessary to ward off bullies, racism, and any other negativity they might encounter, while still being very involved in their day-to-day lives to continue talking them through those encounters.  But while they’re still little, I think equipping them with strong senses of self by creating environments in which they can build healthy, positive self-esteems is the best set of tools we can give our kids to carry through life.  3, 4, or 5 year olds still needs parents protecting them and they are WAY to young to deal with assaults on their self-esteems at that age.  There are things, like racism, that are my job to prepare my child for as well, and we take that very seriously.  I will not always be there to protect him from slurs or the racism he may experience growing up or as an adult.  But again, I believe it is my job to PREPARE AND PROTECT while he is a baby, and to me, a 3 year old is very much still a baby.  This brings me to my next controversial blog post, which I’ll hopefully be writing about soon…my review of Parenting with Love and Logic, the book and the parenting philosophy.  I’m almost done with the book, and while some of it is very smart parenting, there are things about the philosophy I find horrifying.  Plus, if you’re in the adoption community and have the misfortune of understanding RAD, you might recognize one of the authors (Foster Cline) for his very controversial therapy techniques and attachment center here in Colorado.  More on that later though. 

Back to the mixed-age classroom topic…I know it all depends on particular classroom dynamics, but what have your experiences been with age mixing?  Does anyone share my fears? 

Here’s a quick video of my kid’s future as a graffiti artist.  We have about 20 letter H’s, a few squares, and a T or 2, “decorating” the exterior of our home.  At least it’s chalk and it washes off easily.  No time to sweat the small stuff, but I do draw the proverbial line on our house’s interior walls!

You end up trying to keep a Giant Squid afloat.  Good thing he didn’t pick that badass pirate ship, or the jet plane, or any of the other cool kites at Sams.  Noooo, no.  My kid HAD TO HAVE the giant squid;)

Happy Mother’s Day to you all, btw.  We’ve had an awesome weekend so far with absolutely gorgeous weather, perfect for hanging out outside, although today is looking gloomy.  Travis has to study today, so maybe we’ll do something low-key tonight when he’s home.  We went on our usual 6 mile walk yesterday afternoon and nearly stumbled right into a 5” rattlesnake.  Actually, I was devastated to find out that it’s true identity is a rattlesnake mimic.  I think it was actually a Bull Snake.  Either way, it hissed like crazy, shook it’s fake rattle in the air, and gave the kids one heck of a nature lesson.  It was pretty awesome.  If you follow my tweets, you already saw this picture from my phone.  If not, feast your eyes:

After we watched it for 30 minutes while waiting for animal control to get on the phone (this is a highly populated trail), Travis picked up a stick and said he was going to try and handle the snake himself.  Just so you know, he’s done this before and it TOTALLY freaks me out.  I convinced Trav to put the stick down and remember he’s actually setting an example for the 3 bright eyed admirers watching him from their strollers!  That did it, thankfully.

On another note, Jack has the concept of subtraction down!  “Subtraction” was Sesame’s “Word on the Street” a few days ago, so he started asking me about it.  Who said you can’t learn from TV;)  We’ve had lot of subtraction conversations since.  He explains his understanding, in his own words, a few different ways at the beginning of this clip, then, if you can sit through it, works through a few subtraction problems.  Yes, I am bragging because my not-yet-3-year-old is a school geek, but this blog is also where I can keep track of my kids, what they’re up to, what they’re into, and what milestones they’ve hit.  This is one I want to remember for Jack, so here it is:

Happy Mother’s Day.  All I really wanted was a little sleep…guess I’ll just ask for the same thing next year and hope I get it then!  And keep your eyes peeled later for a giveaway!

I’m back to the Early Childhood Education talk and there’s a topic Travis and I have been discussing a lot lately.  It started because Travis has been working in a clinic with an attending he totally admires and whose opinions he respects.  This attending advises parents of his pediatric patients to resist the urge to start their kids in kindergarten early, or what he considers to be early.  The birthday cut-off is Sept. 1st.  His policy is that kids with July birthdays (or later) should always be held back, and kids with June birthdays are on the bubble and their kindergarten start date is debatable and should depend on the child’s maturity, readiness, and the parents’ desires / circumstances.  He says that it’s really not about intelligence.  It’s about our job as parents to help our kids maximize their potential, and most kids can get so much more out of each stage of life (kindergarten, high school, college) if they have the confidence, maturity, and self-esteem to make the most out of every opportunity and experience at each level of education.  Confidence, maturity, and self-esteem are often impeded for a young child surrounded by older children with whom s/he is trying to compete or keep up.  I think the oldest children are often the leaders, especially in those younger grades, and that leader / follower relationship is often something that lasts through high school. 

Travis and I both totally see his point and have begun talking about how this attending’s advice relates to our kids.  Jack and Shane have end of June and beginning of July birthdays, respectively.  Shane is a no-brainer since he could use more time to catch up anyway, but that presents another really complicated challenge, as it would then put Shane and Finley in the same grade.  That is FAR from ideal for so many reasons, most of which are obvious.  I know we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it and there are so many other factors that could play in (will they go to the same school?  what will their individual educational needs be?), but it’s just something we think about.  Jack has the late June birthday, so he’s a tough call.  Jack, our “bubble kid,” is so advanced academically, yet SO young emotionally.  And from a social maturity standpoint, I do NOT want him to be the youngest in his class.  I have another post I’ve been writing about mixed-age classrooms, which seems to be a really common thing in the ECE programs around here, and is of particular interest to me because Jack’s social and emotional maturity is, um, lagging a big and developing a positive self-esteem is a huge concern of mine.  But for now, I’m interested in other people’s opinions on the birthday issue. 

This issue doesn’t really have any impact on our decisions for Jack starting school this fall, but after that, we’ll have to choose whether or not we want to hold him back a year.  I know we have some time to decide, and we’ll be able to see how he does this year and all, but I’m interested in thinking things through in the meantime.  I know there are a lot of educators who read and I’d love to hear your perspectives…especially if you’re a middle or high school teacher.  Do you see a difference in the June - August kids who are the oldest versus the youngest in their classes?  Are they able to get more out of their educations because they are more mature?  The drawback of holding him back is that Jack could grow bored very quickly if school isn’t challenging to him on an intellectual level, but what if the drawback of pushing him ahead is that he that he isn’t mature enough to make the most of that incredible brain he’s been given?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Story time with Yiayia:

Peek-a-boo Shane:

Watch the progression of Fin backing into Jack’s lap to pose for a picture: