I started nightfloat on Monday, meaning I am on a month long rotation where I work nights instead of days (and night).  For the first 2 weeks, I work 7pm-7am (in theory, reality is more like 7pm-8am, but this morning I got a late admission and was stuck there until almost 9), then I’ll switch to 4pm-4am (4pm-5 or 6am).  It’s grueling but actually comes out to probably 15-20 fewer hours worked each week.   I come home, try to nap 2-3 hours, then have lunch and play with the kids until their naptimes, when I lay down with them for another 1.5hrs.  It’s REALLY hard on the body, but the bright side is I actually get to see my kids.  By this morning, I was SO exhausted from being on my feet all night and sleeping ~4 hours a day between shifts.  Nights at the hospital are CRAZY busy and I seriously don’t even sit down except in the ED when I’m admitting a new patient.  But the beauty of nightfloat, and the reason I paid one of my co-interns to swap me a wards month for a nightfloat month this spring, is that you get 2 days off per week (we get “weekends”).  Probably doesn’t sound too exciting to people with normal jobs, but it’s one of the only rotations we have during intern year where that happens. 

So I got home ~9am today and don’t have to be back to the hospital until 7pm on Sunday.  The hard part is that my body is so damn confused about what time of day it is, and I can’t quite convince it to sleep right now.  Instead, I’ve decided to post pictures of the last 2 hikes we did – Burning Bear Creek Trail, which was AMAZING, and a little hike we’ve done before in Roxborough State Park, which I love.  Both were incredible, but Burning Bear is my new favorite to do with kids, especially if it’s warm enough to “swim” in the beautiful mountain creek the trail follows.

These are from Burning Bear Creek hike:

And in case you’re not sick of pictures, here are a couple from Roxy State Park:

Jack starts school this week, which is huge.  He’s VERY excited, but every time the topic comes up, Fin becomes hysterical.  She doesn’t want him to go, and if he does, she wants to go with him.  It’s kind of sad that their little pod of 3 is breaking up.  Jack will only go to school a few hours a day (~3), but since it’s in the am, it’ll mean he doesn’t go on morning outtings with Fin and Shane.  They’ll probably struggle without him for a bit, but I’m guessing Fin and Shane will become closer because of it (not that they aren’t close already, but you get the point).  Sad. 

Travis and I are back to daydreaming about getting to a point after I finish derm training (<4yrs) where we can pay off loans and just whisk our family overseas to travel for a few years while doing different types of international work.  We’d homeschool and hire an international school teacher to join us and help teach the curriculum we design for our kids, with tons of hands-on learning Travis and I can provide along the way while we take our kids to see the world and do humanitarian work along the way.  Then we’ll settle in London for 2 years, where I’ll do the Tropical Medicine fellowship before returning to the developing world to practice medicine / tropical derm / and teach at a med school.  Travis is now doing health IT development work in Africa, but hopefully it’ll expand into Asia as well, so lots of possibilities for his non-clinical role overseas too.  We just need his start-up company to do what people are projecting it will, and I just need to survive internship for now.  In the meantime, it’s nice to dream, ya know?

Anyway, I think I might take a Tylenol PM and attempt sleep – I haven’t taken a single pill during pregnancy, and that’s a safe one anyway so don’t worry (Yiayia;).  I think the baby would appreciate some rest.  I can’t even imagine what kind of little monster is lurking within me, but if it’s anything like the last one, I should be resting every second I can!  Speaking of, check out this tantrum, I call it a Fintrum:

Travis wasn’t in town when this happened and Fin gets very out of sorts without her daddy.  It’s kind of an amusing video at first, and then it’s just sad when her little body just gives up and you realize the meltdown was a combo of exhaustion and missing her dad.  I stopped filming and she just collapsed into my arms:(  Poor little monster.  But it does give you a glimpse into how her head can spin around!!  I posted this so I can look back on this blog someday and see the good, the bad, and the ugly.  And of course the beautiful, wonderful, fun, hilarious stuff that happens in our house everyday too.

Here’s a little laugh for you…Travis shaved the boys’ hair today, and in the midst of Shane’s haircut, we got a glimpse into what he’ll look like in 60 years:

Jack came outside, took one look at Shane, and said “Shane looks like Granjoe!” and then proceeded to laugh his little butt off.  I’m pretty sure my father-in-law would find Jack’s sense of humor just as funny as we did! 

Once the shave was complete, it was adorable.  Shane loves to get his haircut and especially loves all the praise he gets as soon as it’s done – everyone loves to feel his prickly head! 

Jack HATES having his haircut; the sound of the razor drives him crazy.  Strange thing is, he loves the dentist.  Weird kid;)  I love both boys with short hair – you can see their features so much better.  We’re heading out for what should be an incredible hike tomorrow, so I’ll hopefully take some pictures of the new ‘do’s there.

Jack starts school in 2 weeks.  I wonder if that’s going to ruin the munchkin games he, Shane, and Fin have made up and enjoying playing together, like “Princess Parade.”  I wish they could stay little and carefree forever.  Please make note of how dainty a princess Shane is in this video, pinching the sides of his gown to keep it from snagging on the ground – hilarious.

A few other funny updates.  Here’s a picture of outer space that Jack drew and hung on his own bedroom wall. 

I was tucking him in tonight and he was describing his artwork for me:  “that dark thing is a meat-eater (meteor), and that swirly thing is the Milky Wave (Milky Way)…”  Just can’t believe my baby is actually starting school!!  My mom sent him this backpack and lunchbox that he’s quite eager to wear:

Today was my day off and Fin and Shane let me sleep in until almost 8am!!  It was amazing.  Jack, however, still runs on 8hrs sleep – not much for a 4 year old, but that’s always been how he rolls.  So Travis got up and laid down with him at 6.  Jack was tossing and turning and trying everything to get Travis up and downstairs with him.  He finally resorted to paraphrasing a line from Wall-E, when the people are traveling back to Earth and the video is informing the people of 1 effect of having been lazy/not exercising.  Jack pulled that one out and told Travis “dad, I’m experiencing slight bone loss!” 

Fin also has been cracking us up lately with some line she picked up from God knows where.  Anytime the boys do something wild she doesn’t want them to do, she’ll tell “don’t do that!  It brings down the value!!”  And perhaps my favorite conversation between Fin and Jack that highlights their differences:

Travis: “oh, I think that grasshopper is hurt.  let’s leave him alone.”

Jack: “Yeah, maybe his mommy and daddy will come find him and take care of him.”

Fin: “or maybe a snake will come along and eat him!”

We went on a hike today and Shane, our expert bug catcher, caught tons of critters for our little critter / amphibian / reptile tank at home.  He and Jackie caught a couple frogs, but one little jumper was tough to capture.  Fin got frustrated watching the boys gently scoop and miss, so she pushed them aside and tried to stomp on it.  I yelped, which stopped her in her tracks before the frog had been completely flattened.  Fin noticed my concern and said “oh,” then she looked back and pointed at the lame frog and comforted me with “it’s ok mom, he’s still jumpin.”  Heart a gold, that kid.  She really cracks me up though.

Then there’s Shanie and his incredible etiquette.  He’s always excusing himself and apologizing for things Fin or Jack did.  It’s funny because Fin will own up to her naughties and say “no Shane, that was MY fault.”  On several occasions, he has interrupted restaurant conversation to say “cuse me! CUSE ME?!” and then when he has our attention, “my farted.” 

Apologies for the deteriorating quality of my photos!  I haven’t edited a picture in MONTHS, and most I take these days are with my iphone.  Here are 2 from our hike & picnic today:

First of all, we launched our fall line of SkinnyKidz belts, meaning the remainder of last season’s styles are on clearance!  REALLY cheap.  Like, no profit but hoping they’ll sell so more people gain exposure to the product, cheap.  Jena has done an amazing job keeping things moving and picking the cutest new styles.  She’s also coordinated the next 2 charities, which are AWESOME organizations.  Check out the new styles and the sale belts if you get a chance. 

A little explanation of the video below, which probably doesn’t look like much to you but makes me roll around in laughter…we were at a mall playground the other day and there was a bully.  He would stand on the highest point of a play structure, bate littler kids in, then push ‘em off or just get nasty with words and demands as they approached.  The ultimate Napolean.  I’ve said this before, but my 3 kids are usually like a little gang.  They travel in a pack, they have each other’s backs, and they’re often in their own world even when there are tons of other kids to play with.  They choose each other and they stick together.  It’s so freakin cute how unified they are – best of friends and they have such cute little relationships with one another. 

Anyway, Fin and Shane decided to take on the Playground Bully the other day.  My kids don’t know what a gun is; we aren’t gun people or gun supporters.  You’re shocked, I know.  Seriously.  But I say that because they invented this way to annoy the living shit out of the Playground Bully that totally looks like they’re pretending to shoot him, even though they don’t know what that means.  They would point both fingers at him and say “be-ow, be-ow, be-ow” close enough to be insanely irritating, while never actually making contact with him.  Travis and I were watching and just laughing our assess off while this went on for about 5 minutes (until the kid’s head nearly popped off and he almost just gave up the spot at the top of the structure).  Finally, the kid got so frustrated he started to tattle to his mom.  That’s the part I sort of caught on film – watch Shane start looking all nonchalant when he thinks he’s getting busted.  It’s hilarious.

Today I felt almost like a normal person.  I got home early, after a “short” work day, only 10.5hrs (as short as they can possibly be – happens when the starts align and no one tries to die on me).  We went to City Park and took the kids on a pedal boat.  It was EXHAUSTING, but really fun and great exercise.  Then we visited our friends, Kaakpema and Sara, and met the cutest little peanut – their baby boy Desmond.  He’s in the NICU, but doing really well and we all hope he’ll be home very soon.  Fin stares at his picture constantly and Jack talks about meeting his “little buddy” often.  Congrats to Sara and Kaakp on their adorable addition!  

Thank you to all of you who reached out with supportive words for me.  Right now I need that kind of support.  It doesn’t help me to hear “suck it up, that’s just the way it is.  Lots of us do it, you can to.”  That’s the ass backwards logic that has made medicine the cold environment that it is, and I’m sick of hearing it. 

I was so lucky to have had an upper level resident for the past month that would have never said that to me.  Instead she’d just sit with me after we signed out and hug me while I cried, she’d ask about my kids when she could sense I needed to talk about them, and she’d avoid it when she knew I couldn’t handle talking about them.  She taught me at every opportunity, shared my workload when I was overwhelmed (which she did NOT have to do, being as she was my upper level), impressed me with her humanism, and made me laugh when I just really needed it.  She’s probably the reason I got through last month.  So intern year isn’t all bad I guess; I have come across a few amazing people, like many of you, who have lovingly nudged me on while also letting me know you’d still support me if I decided to go a different way.  That’s the kind of encouragement I have needed in my life lately, so thank you.  To our parents and my grandparents, I really am doing ok, I promise.

Today was awesome.  We made it feel like a full weekend, even if it was just a day.  First, I have to introduce you to a new member of the Good household…I got a cryptic text while I was on-call Saturday and had hoped the snake Travis mentioned would be dead or something before I got home.  Instead, I found it in a little reptile aquarium ON MY KITCHEN TABLE. 

It’s only a matter of time before a mischievous someone “accidentally” lets him out of the cage and he slithers under a couch or appliance. 

So yeah, we have a snake.  His name is Slinky, and he’s a gross little thing Travis and the kids caught on a hike last weekend.  That’s just what happens when I’m gone for 30 straight hours and daddy’s left in charge;)  There’s also a praying mantis, 2 frogs, and a tube full of crickets – all caught by my kids on their hike.  Saturday was a rough day for the animal kingdom.

We did all kinds of stuff today, including getting a preview of the Botanical Gardens’ new kid’s section, which is going to be amazing when it fully opens next week.  We had a really fun scavenger hunt there. 

[Note: in the picture below, you can see Fin’s new sense of fashion – she insists on mix and matching her shoes]

We also walked to a pocket of nearby restaurants to enjoy my fav food – sushi.  Also, my best friend delivered a baby today in a VERY high risk delivery.  Dominique and her baby girl are both doing great, after a very stressful pregnancy.  Thank God.  So today was a wonderful day for many reasons.  Speaking of pregnancy and babies, little Good #4 is doing well.  I started feeling movement early this time, but the first real kick you could feel from the outside of my belly happened 2 weeks ago.  We had an ultrasound last week and we brought all the kids (and Jen, our incredible nanny who has become a crucial member of the family).  The kids LOVED being involved and seeing the baby on the big screen during the ultrasound. 

The ultrasound ended up showing a marginal cord insertion, meaning we’ll have to have another ultrasound and see a perinatologist next month to monitor the baby’s growth (since the cord doesn’t insert in the center of the placenta, there’s a concern that the baby might not get as much blood flow / nutrients, which could cause growth restriction).  I’m not too worried about it at this point, but my experience with perinatologists makes me roll my eyes at the thought of having to see one.  Always ironic when the fields that could really use people with good bedside manner tend to draw the ice cubes, but whatever.

Anyway, here are some pictures from dinner tonight.  We walked a few miles, ate a great dinner, let the kids play in some water, and headed home watching the sunset over the Rocky Mountains.  In the interest of transparency and honesty, this is the secret to getting our kids to sit still at a restaurant so Travis and I can pretend like we’re on a date, even if there are 3 very nosey chaperones present;) 

Every now and then, Shane would pick his head up and say something funny like “cuse me, I farted.”  Cracks me up.

Here’s a beautiful thing: 3 toddlers all finally wearing underwear!  No more diapers (for a few months!).

So it’s 1am, I can’t connect to the internet, but I did bring my computer in case I had a chance to write from my call room.  Looks like there’s no point in even trying to sleep, since my cross-cover pager is possessed.  Might as well write for 5 minutes at a time while I wait for the next train to wreck on the oncology floor (that’s where all my cross-cover action has been so far tonight).

I miss feeling like a mom.  Some days (most, if I’m being honest), I really wonder why the hell I’m doing this.  I don’t like it; there’s very little that I enjoy about my days, other than the moment I step out of the hospital and run for my car before my pager goes off again.  I’m in survival mode, just trying to stay afloat.  My kids, thankfully, are doing much better, but I can still sense their anxiety.  Shane’s is disguised, but it’s there.  He’s more sensitive and he’s actually been saying “my sad mama” every time he sees me.  Fin’s is obvious – she’s become terrified of everything and is constantly on the lookout for the “big bad wolf.”  Seriously, she won’t even go to the bathroom by herself right now because of the damn wolf.  At night is when she really melts.  Jack’s is subtle, but it’s there too.  He’s always asking me about when I have to go to work next.  It’s the first thing he thinks about when he sees me – how long will I be there.

And then there’s the compassion burnout.  I almost ate a patient the other night – I got a late admit, which meant I wasn’t going to make it home in time to see my kids before their bedtime.  When I went in to see the patient, she was on a call and told me to come back later.  My blood pressure seriously shot higher than that patient’s who stroked in front of me last Friday.  I don’t even cry when nice people die anymore, I hardly even feel…anything.  It’s survival mode.  But I miss feeling like a person and I don’t like what this process is doing to me.  The only thing that grounds me every once in awhile (especially after a diet coke;) is feeling this baby inside me kick.  I always pause what I’m doing to put my hand on my belly and just enjoy that little glimpse of a life.  And that brings me back to thinking about my family.  Those are about the only enjoyable moments I can think of in my otherwise very hard, very stressful days.

As I wrote on twitter a few days ago, you know you’re unhappy at work when the drive there seems to fly by in the mornings, yet it seems to take FOREVER to get home at night.  We are supposed to fill out these work hour forms to document the hours we were in the hospital each week.  I decided to fill mine out honestly.  Guess how that went?  Not so well.  It’s no wonder everyone lies about duty hours; it’s just not worth the hassle to tell the truth and deal with the phone calls and the getting your resident in trouble with the administration because you broke work week hours (worked more than you’re legally allowed as a resident).  The best is how the administration then calls and asks questions like “well, what can we do to keep this from happening again?”  And after you tell them a reasonable solution (ie: allow us to stop taking admissions an hour earlier), you come to understand what they are really asking is “how can we get you to stop logging the hours you really work?”  Gotta love medicine.

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So I wrote that on my overnight call last night.  Saturday call is the worst – makes for a REALLY long week.  That was a long 30 hours.  My day off is Tuesday and it couldn’t come soon enough.  I am ok though, probably better than that made me sound!

Amy Mann- I canNOT find your email address but I need to thank you.  Your letter was so touching and totally made my week; I am so grateful for the clothes you sent me.

It sure feels like we lived it a few months ago; as crazy and chaotic as life was then, it didn’t compare to this new life with 3 wild toddlers, a pregnant intern for a mom, and a dad who sporadically travels to a far away coast to wine and dine potential investors.  This week was hard, really hard.  I pretty much didn’t see my kids for 3 days, didn’t sleep more than 5 hours any night this week, and probably cried 6 of 7 days.  <sigh>  I am really sad to say I don’t like medicine very much right now, and I hate what I’m having to sacrifice to be in it.  I’m tired of missing out on my kids lives to be at the hospital watching people die.  It’s depressing on both fronts.  Internal medicine is not really my thing.  About 75% of internal medicine patients are over 75, and that is not really an exaggeration.  And I’d say 75 would be on the young side for the hospital service I’m on right now.

On top of other stress, I had an exposure yesterday that really freaked me out…a possible infectious disease that, as a pregnant intern, I have been afraid of encountering.  After researching shingles in pregnancy, I think my risk of badness is extremely low, especially since I’ve had chicken pox and even if I hadn’t, it’s still not likely my pregnancy would be affected.  But it was enough to make me worry for a few hours yesterday and have to spend a little time looking it.  I didn’t need that. 

Today was my day off.  It was an AWESOME day off, all the way until this evening when Fin fell off a chair at Chipotle and cracked the back of her head open.  I didn’t realize she’d hit her head until I scooped her up and felt something wet spilling onto my arm.  I was pretty sure we were going to have to take her to the ED for stitches, but Travis and I got the bleeding to stop without that.  Fin is the toughest little thing on the planet, thankfully.  She just wanted to eat her burrito and drink a “beered” (beer) to make her feel better;)  So we went home and did just that.  Before you call CPS, Finley thinks Izzy with lime in a frozen mug is a beer, so it’s all good.  [what you can’t see in the picture, nor could she, thankfully, is the blood matted hair on the back of her head]

As for the good parts, we went to the Dragon Boat Festival today in celebration of Asian Pacific heritage.  We’ve gone every year we’ve been here and we always love it. 

Travis’ mom is out here with us, which is a great thing for the kids and has been very helpful to us too.  Travis left for Boston at 3:30am on Friday morning and came back at 2am that night, so she was here to help our nanny, Jen, with the kids that very long day until I came home. 

Anyway, the festival was fantastic.  Afterwards, my MIL and I had a chance to run to the mall while the kids napped today and I finally got myself some pants.  It’s weird how fast this pregnancy is going, but I swear, it’s been ALL OF THE SUDDEN that this huge belly has popped out of nowhere.  I’m 21+ weeks now and the belly band over my regular dress pants is becoming uncomfortable.  And because I have such incredibly kind people who read this blog and offer support, I have had people send me maternity clothes too!!  Can you believe that?  I am SO grateful, I can’t even begin to tell you. 

So, after the Chipotle drama, we did a fun little dessert craft with the kids.  Worms in mud.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just get some gummy worms, chocolate pudding, and oreos.  Let the kids mash the oreos with mallets (they love that part), put them at the bottom of a clear plastic cup.  Then put a chocolate pudding layer on top.  Last, have them drop the worms in the mix and stir it all up.  It was disgusting to watch, but Jack, Shane, and Fin had such a blast searching for and eating their worms and the mud / dirt.  Especially since they’re still obsessed with pretending to be baby birds!

Here are a few other pictures from the past few weeks that I’m just now getting off my computer.  The first couple are from my day off last week – took my MIL and the kids up to Boulder Creek on the most beautiful day and had a wonderful time.

My kids have been playing “doctor” a LOT lately.  The role playing is adorable, and Finley goes around saying to everyone she meets, “I’m a dot-tor.”  Sadly, I kind of hope my kids are only role playing and I never hear any of them say that for real.  Maybe that’s just intern year talking and I’ll change my mind down the road, but for now that’s how I feel and I’m just being honest about it. 

I love this picture of my Yiayia and my Finley:

That’s all for my stream-of-consciousness ramblings tonight.  Sorry if it was a downer…again.  Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon?  Like next year when I’m no longer an internal medicine intern?!!  Ahhh, just got keep banging my head against this brick wall for now.  I’ll eventually crack it.  The wall I mean. 

Hope you all are doing well, and I hope you understand why I’m so out of touch if you’ve emailed me in the last few weeks and I haven’t responded.  Almost forgot – PLEASE check out our SkinnyKidz sale!!!  LOTS of our belts are on sale as we get ready to bring in our fall prints, which are adorable, btw.  Don’t forget to check it out. 

Nothing in medicine is more painful, more torturous, more heart-wrenching than providing futile medical care to a patient who is suffering.  I am not talking about a person who carries a terminal diagnosis but is still coherent and choosing to pursue experimental treatments, even if they are hail mary options.  I’m talking about the patient who is no longer mentating, who needs modern medicine to breath for him and a tube to feed him, who is developing decubitus ulcers all over his body from laying in a practically vegetative state, who moans if the ativan and morphine wear off, who has to have the suction jammed down his throat to remove the sloughing mucosa from the back of his dry, blood-crusted oropharynx, who is barely recognizable because fluid has left the intravascular space and pooled in every dependent area of tissue, leaving him swollen and water-logged.  I’m referring to the patient whose family members STOP visiting his bedside because even they can’t stand to look at him like that anymore.  Yet they still want everything done to keep him from dying. 

Talking and pleading with families in the most compassionate way I know how becomes a frustrating effort when they continue to believe a miracle might occur.  In one breath, they realize that if God wanted a miracle to occur, he would make one occur.  But in the next breath, they aren’t confident enough in their God to allow us, the medical team, to stop prolonging the patient’s suffering and just leave it up to God. 

I know it often takes people a long time to come to terms with a family member’s death.  I don’t ever want to be in those shoes because I can’t imagine how painful it must be.  I never know the people I take care of before they became ill, but for me to show up and see them in a state of suffering day in and day out while their families debate pursuing aggressive, futile medical treatments, is really hard.  Our 1st obligation as physicians is to “do no harm,” but I can’t think of anything more inhumane than prolonging death under those circumstances.  Yet, in this country, we are virtually powerless and our hands are practically tied.  We aren’t able to say “I’m sorry, I cannot / will not put a feeding tube down your father’s throat because it will only cause him more discomfort and there is truly no benefit to him.”  In an ideal medical world, I would be able to say “I’m sorry, but it would be against the medical oath I have taken as a doctor.”  But we don’t live in Europe, we live in a highly litigious country where doctors are puppets out of the fear of a lawsuit.  So we go on torturing patients when they’re families demand us to.  And we bring in palliative care, case managers, hospice, the ethics committee, and so many other people to try and help us make our case.  But in the end, we bend to the families’ wishes and allow the antibiotics, the feeding tubes, the blood draws, the suctions, beeping alarms, the rib-cracking CPR, the defibrillator, the breathing machines to continue to prolong suffering.  It’s truly disturbing.  And in the end, the patient dies a painful death, and all that is gained goes to insurance companies – the  hundreds of thousands of dollars our futile care costs. 

If you don’t have a living will, even if you are 30 years old and healthy as can be (believe me, I’ve had this patient who was hit with something out of the blue too), sit down with your family and talk about these things.  Everyone who sees these patients always says “please don’t ever let me go like that,” but it’s so hard for the family members left behind to make such huge decisions when they haven’t explicitly had these conversations with their loved ones before tragedy befalls.  No one wants to be responsible for saying “ok, withdraw treatment and let him/her die in peace.”  So everyone defers making a decision, and the patient just lingers and suffers.  Something to think about.  Here’s a site to help you think through these things if you haven’t before: http://www.yourcommunityhospital.com/LivWill5wishes.cfm

Because my kids are so damn funny, of course…ahem.

Yesterday, I came home from the hospital in time to play with the kids, eat dinner as a family, and tuck everyone into bed.  It was fantastic.  While eating dinner, Jack asked, as he does everyday / night when I get home: “how was your day at the hops-ital mom?  Were there lots of sick people?  What happened to them?  Did you help them get better?”  Then he said “dad, are you a doctor?”  Travis then said “wellllll, yes, kind of.  But daddy helps people get healthy using technology…with his computer.”  Jack let out this hysterical laugh and said condescendingly, “daaaad! Computers don’t help people; they have buttons, and are used for things like games and PBSkids.org!”  We laughed so hard. 

Later, we put the kids to bed.  About 10 minutes after tucking them in, we heard Finley yell and start crying, so Travis and I ran upstairs to find her with barf everywhere.  We scooped her up, cleaned her off, and Travis rocked her in the chair.  She begged him to sleep in the rocking chair next to her bed, so he shot me the look.  I said “fine, bring her in our bed.”  A strange, Grinch-like smile curled across her little face.  When we got her into our bed, I laid down in bed with her, patted her hair and stroked her face until she started drifting off.  Then she said, in this scratchy little voice, “hey mom?  I stuck my hand down my mouf so the barf would come out.”  Sneaky little shit.

Our Frenchie can be a royal PITA, but he often provides much needed comic relief around here.  The dog is a clown.  My mom was out here visiting us this past weekend and really wanted to take Henny home with her.  Even though being dogless for a few weeks might’ve made life easier for us right now, we couldn’t part with him.  Our kids would have been devastated, for one.  And Travis and I have grown pretty fond of him, for two;)  Here is just a little taste of the comic relief he provides:

Our kids are rather amusing as well.  They’re so darn cute but I swear, the ages and stages we’re going through right now are really really hard to be going through all at once – there is RARELY silence around here.  The volume escalates so quickly and Fin’s temper usually means there’s 1 kid screaming through the house, running for his life, with a hot-head lunatic chasing closely behind him with her mouth wide open in case she catches him.  Not so peaceful.  Lots of quick tempers (ours included), and typical 2-4 year old behavior.  Drama drama drama.  I can’t even IMAGINE throwing a newborn into this mix. 

But they’re also at ages that are just so hysterical and cute to watch.  They sit and chat about stuff during mealtime.  They’ll ask each other questions and have little conversations, they’ll trade food, hold hands spontaneously, and sometimes help each other and share just because they like one another.  That’s my favorite thing to see.